I realize I'm a failure

I have not updated my blog in a week now. Not only that, but I don't think I've even taken any pictures of the shit that's been going on.

I've decided to feel justified in this because...well...it was an awful week! Certainly it ended well with tonight being rather wonderful, but the rest of it blew. I don't even WANT to document it. So ha, blog. I've decided to just cheat hardcore and take a bunch of pictures tomorrow that will represent the last seven days. This project will probably involve a lot of writing on my hands and not showing my face a whole lot.

And now I'm conking out. It's been a long damn week. I'm exhausted; the whole thing was really busy. And I simply do not have time this weekend to do all things that need to get done. That's the way life is, I guess. Never enough time. Even though time arguably could be either infinite or nonexistent.

Er...good night. I'm sorry for the lack of photos, for those two or three loyal fans I may have out there.

(58)

I traveled by way of school bus to the magical land of North Dakota today. A very small peer group and I made the journey there for a robotics competition kick-of. There was a lot of bus time involved. Yee-haw.

(57) Coming Home

I wish more people would do it. [Come home, not make faces]

This is the only photo taken of me on Friday. My final high school homecoming as a non-alumni.

More and more and more everyday I miss my recently graduated friends...they are numerous and precious to me. I almost cry when I think about them. Almost. But I've been suppressing that emotional response lately...which is not typical of me. I'm usually a big crier. But this week I've swallowed it every time I feel like losing it. This is probably not the BEST thing for me to be doing...but oh well. Eventually it will all come exploding out and the one giant resulting sob session will be long and cleansing, I am sure.

(56)

Thursday was nice. I had my first jazz combo rehearsal at the U. It was...unproductive. Besides the fact that we all introduced ourselves and decided we unanimously hate the arrangement of the song we have. Then they jammed...and I, not being a jazz pianist almost at ALL...went out to the grassy mall and studied until the mosquitoes came out.

The birth of this photo.

(55) So a senior.

Wednesday was awesome. I got the part I really really wanted in a musical (for the first time ever) and it was Color Day...Black. Obviously.

And at 9:30ish in the morning, I was on campus...just...chilling. It was beautiful. The weather was perfect and there was almost no one around.

...Until the rest of my class showed up.

(54) The Second Time Ever

that there will be guest appearances in my blog picture! Tuesday was Tacky Tourist Day. Ohhhhh joy.

(53) Here is something about which I am truely upset.

Yesterday was pajama day in my high school. Definitely...in my opinion...the best school day of the year. And of course my picture yesterday was of me all cutesy and pajama-ed and feeling comfy and glowing. I mean, I had a REALLY good day yesterday! So I was quite happy with my picture.

Unfortunately, my picture seems to have magically vanished. :S I think I may have snapped it with the memory card not in my camera, leaving my camera no choice but to immediately discard the picture for lack of anything to save it to.

...Ugh. So. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to cheat. My picture, for yesterday, will be a picture taken of me on LAST YEAR'S pajama day.

So there.


I do believe this is the first time anyone else has appeared in a blog picture! Congratulations, Jen.

(52) Just...rain

(51) Lily

Lily probably loves me more than anything or anyone in the world ever has or ever will. She's the single most delightful little creature I've ever had the privilege of knowing. (I'm kind of a melty, sappy, gooey cat person. In case you couldn't tell.)

Sometimes she licks my face.

(50) Reflection

Both kinds

(49) Rain and a series of lasts

It was just...dreary. All day.
Until tonight. :) When the sky cleared up and the moon came out for the first time in days.

Today should be a metaphor for my next few months. Right now, my future is looking kind of bleak. I'm avoiding college mail like the plague and shrugging off any conversation centered around applications, majors, decisions, or anything to occur within the next year. So...maybe right now is the dreary, hopeless day. Life might keep up this act for a few weeks...hell, maybe a few months. But I'm really counting on resolution to most of my stressors to hit me in the forehead. Maybe I'll get lucky and the resolution will come in the form of motivation. Maybe. We'll see.

I'm mostly not wanting tomorrow to come. Because I'm not ready for it. Because I have this nifty little toy sitting in front of me. I'm thinking of naming my laptop Twain. :)

And there's the bright side for the day.

Tomorrow I will audition for the MAHS Fall Musical for the last time.

(48) Dress-code

There is a pattern of dress in my school which is sticking out in my thoughts right now because I just had to explain to my dad that the clones on the front page of the newspaper are this year's Homecoming Queen candidates.

I correct myself, not ALL of them are clones...I say this because one of them is a friend of mine. So there's that.

But really, there is a large population of girls in my school who dress in such a manner:
Light-wash slightly flared jeans
Lacy camisoles layered beneath either a knit top or a Hollister, American Eagle, or Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt
Flip flops or other cutesy flat shoes
Occasional understated silver jewelry
Straightened hair worn down...or crunchy wavy hair worn down

On any given day, there will be no less than a dozen girls in this uniform of "style".

It makes me sad.

Today I dressed frivolously.

(47) Finally a Dell to call my own

My beautiful little spring green lap top arrived Tuesday. (This picture is from Tuesday, if you hadn't yet caught on to my theme of tardiness in posting.) I adore it. I even find myself pretty into the whole Vista thing...even though most people seem to be critical of the system. To put it lightly.

Oh well. I am enjoying it. I am enjoying a lot of things. Except the college search thing. Which I am actively not participating in. Oi vey.

(46) Today=Monday

I am learning trombone.
:D

(45) Sunday

Today was my grandfather's birthday. A sprinkling of relatives showed up at my house for a delicious celebratory lunch. Andrew came too! I wore a "new" sweater. It has an interesting collar.

As depicted above.

(44) Saturday

This is how I fell asleep on Saturday. With a smile on. It was radical. It was awesome. It was me being in love.

"Awww fer cute."

(43) Today. At last. The longest day.

Biking away from work at 11:30 PM. At long last. I went in at 4:00 to help out until 8-ish...and worked until closing.

I hate wholesome, enriching, family-friendly community events. They produce a lot of dishes.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
I do actually take/create these pictures on the day to which they belong...I just almost never have the time to upload them. I hate the school year.

In other news? A bunch of my close friends are back from college for the weekend for some reason. I'm not complaining! Seeing them just makes me realize how much I missed them. Bbbbbbummer.

Oh, and I'm learning trombone tomorrow.

(42) Thursday. Feeling-good day.

I went for a walk in the clear, cold night and enjoyed the sky.
I've never felt so small as when I'm looking at the stars.

(41) Wednesday - The miserable, ready-to-give-up-already, dear-lord-I'm-sick day.

This is pretty much how I felt. Confused, befuddled, my eyes and brain and neck were whacked out. Dehydration? Perhaps. The more likely explanation...aliens are messing with my white blood cells. Damn them.

(40) Tuesday. Last first day.

I don't think little Bess could've even dreamed about having books filled with this junk and needing to read all of them. College is hard. But strangely, high school right now seems harder.

(39) Monday

Labor Day. One day before my official begin as a senior in high school. I don't feel like a senior. I don't have the same mystique and stature of the seniors of old. I'm just me. And everyone else in my class are just...them. We're not special enough to be seniors. I'm not ready for this!

(38) Sunday

A windy Labor Day weekend.
Why has it been so bloody windy lately? All of that air has somewhere to be and it is very impatient to get there. Apparently.
It's difficult to paddle upstream in a kayak, and even more so when the wind is against you as well.

To all of my loyal readers: Something to make you chuckle

Yesterday, someone from Melbourne viewed my blog. (Melbourne...as in Australia. For those who were confused.) They stumbled upon my humble page by THIS Google search.

That is the page from which they accessed my blog. And it really just makes you wonder...
What were they looking for in the first place?
Why did they capitalize "All goey"?
And why can't Bess spell the word GOOEY properly?

My god, man.